All hail the God Hand

What makes less sense than having Michael Bay make snuff movies about your childhood heroes?
GodHandCoverArtAlternate

GOD HAND.

Created by the now defunct Clover Studio, this non-sensical, over-the-top brawler goes the whole mile with its table-flipping, nut-crunching, libido-wrecking Fist-of-the-Northstar-on-acid shenanigans, accompanied by the catchiest and silliest music this side of the Katamari.

Clover Studio, also known for their zany Viewtiful Joe series and beautiful Ookami, went on to kick more ass under the moniker PlatinumGames.

You know. MadWorld, Bayonetta, Vanquish, to name a few. The sequel to NIER is up next (and it’s making me shit bricks).
And oh hey, they even made Transformers and TMNT games without skull****ing established lore. How about them apples, mr. Bay?

 

 

We’re not done with Bioshock just yet

As you might have picked up, the Bioshock Collection is due in september, and it gives us the possibility to roam Rapture and Columbia once more, with extra shiny all around us.
Commemorating this event, 2K is releasing some cool behind-the-scenes stuff, so make sure to check it out on their blog or twitterbook.

BigDaddySlug

 

Grand Theft Articuno

Reconciling adepts of wanton destruction and domestic animal abuse, here’s something that will make everyone grin stupidly for minutes.

 

The One True Top Gear – [soundbyte t]

90’s music can only wish it was this good.

[b] Would you kindly lend me your ear

Il Credo Degli Assassini.

This is where our musical journey to Rapture begins. Not through waves of sound, but through moving images…

Not the actual way to Rapture

Read More

Independence Fail – Regurgitation

Rejoice, fellow shroomers!

Somewhere in the multiverse there exists a KICK ASS video game of Independence Day!

How do I know?

Simple. Every game-to-movie adaption known to man has sucked all kinds of ass, and this inversely proportionate to the source material.
Resurgence is such an affront to humankind that we’re well due an annihilation or two, so there MUST BE a ridiculously epic video game circulating about, with actual plot, meaningful action, sincere drama, funny one liners, lovable characters, total lack of cliché…

The thought of this is already melting my brain.

Id4whitehouse

 

Thank you Mr Emmerich, for making me feel better about Jurassic World and X-Men Apocalypse again.

Invite a friend, crush his dreams

But you need the right tools.

Go from friend to fiend in a few seconds with frantic fencer NIDHOGG, and break some bones with busty brawler SKULLGIRLS, so you can mend your wounds afterwards with some co-operative ROGUELANDS. Or not.

Only a few hours left to pick up these indie classics (and many others) through the Humble Bundle Revelmode, and you’ll be supporting Crisis Text Line and a charity of your choosing in the progress!

Everybody wins!

Except your friend

 

Skullgirls_Logo

Street Fighter 5.1 – HOT PACKAGE

Oh hey buy this Japan-only game so you can get 2 extra hot costumes for that other game you have, or pre-order the US version for maximum price, or wait until a few other characters are available so you can buy them as well, or wait for Super Ultra Mega Street Fighter Remix Turbo V Max  and buy again, buy more, buy buy buy…

OR, dear Capcom, how about giving us the entire cake from the get-go ?

Besides, it seems like someone’s nether regions don’t seem to fully agree with this whole Hot Package deal anyhow…

There’s always time for some oldskool T&A

Especially when you’re out fighting the occult in your cell-shaded panties.

Fear Effect and Retro Helix have been re-released for a while now, and even though they haven’t aged quite as well as that bottle of Bordeaux I keep lying around, you should grab ’em while they’re hot and get prepped for the next instalment.

It took more than 15 years, so I’ll gladly crack that bottle open.

Too hot for comfort?

I know what it’s like.
You get a day off, maybe more – it’s a national holiday in Belgium FYI – but it’s scorching hot outside. You want to stay inside, keep cool, but not feel like you’re wasting your time away.

WELL THEN, waste no more.

Dish out one measly dollar, and pick up Spec Ops – The Line, the only war game you’ll ever need to feel bad about. You can thank me tomorrow.

[Included: The Darkness II and Duke Nukem Forever. Don’t even think about it.]